Caitlyn Brown
Free Write
I feel most heard when my actions speak louder than words. Either by leading with example, breaking through a tough point, or proving others wrong. I don’t feel that I make it far or contribute an impact on people my rambling on, bragging, or trying to explain. By saying my goal in life is to help others or put others first is cool and all and people reply with “congrats same” or some basic snare. But by actually volunteering, going on a mission trip, or even helping a random stranger I feel that I am heard and I have accomplished a good deed. Another example would be when I played soccer. My high school soccer team was filled with a bunch or popular girls and we’ve been playing together since we were 6 but they always got the better rep because they were the bragging type. But my senior year, I was the team captain and I had scored the winning goal for the first ever district championship for women’s soccer in my schools history, yeah that was me. There I was able to prove that I was just as good or even better.
Literally I feel most spoken to when I’m with my roommate who has become probably a lifetime sister and friend. We are pretty much the same people and understand each other like that. Also my family I feel most spoken to. Theoretically I feel most spoken to either when I’m outside in nature looking up at the sky and just take a deep breath and all the mysteries of the world travel in and out of my head. The other place I theoretically feel most spoken to is when I’m about to fall asleep and all of my thoughts, words, actions, as well as other people’s float in and out of my head as I recap the day before turning out the lights.
I feel as if it’s complicated when I try to explain my thoughts and emotions with words rather than displaying with actions. Like I mentioned, I feel the most success and accomplished with actions rather than words so when I try to communicate via words I don’t think everyone quite understands or get the perspective that I’m looking at. It is better for me to show and do
I think I’ll be doing something about how actions speak louder than words but I don’t know if that’s even a genre so….
1st Draft
Looking around our world we tend to bypass the similar pieces and the connections that lie front of us in plain sight. When looked at closer, it comes in to realization – the small parts fit like a puzzle. The community we live in can be divided into smaller pieces and then further divided with each subdivision, each containing a specific genre.
Growing up I have played soccer and my childhood soon formed into the soccer community. I could not imagine life without it. The soccer community grew to become my backbone, since the age of six.
Of course as I grew older, teams changed, coaches changed, and teammates changed. I considered each change as just another step into the soccer community and another foot into the world.
People, however, were not the only change to occur. Philosophies changed, methods changed, and different approaches were used. From the beginning stages with Coach Kelly his philosophy was always fun is number one. If we were not having fun then we were not looking at the bigger picture and the pure happiness the game could bring. We were also only six years old though, so gladly that was the goal. No six-year-old should have a worry in the world and stressing over a loss or a mistake. At the age of ten I switched to club teams to Florida Rush Soccer Club. A lot of my old teammates had either quit by then and the co-ed became strictly boys or girls. I was definitely thrown into a new scenario and atmosphere. My nerves became spiked and the jitters would not stop, I was scared of the change. Luckily, my new teammates and I had all continued to share the same strong passion for soccer despite the big change. The moment I met my new coach on that starless spring night was when all the stars had flickered on. I knew from the moment Prince, the coach, started talking he was going to have a great impact on my life.
His philosophy was a bit different from fun. Self-belief and confidence. If those two things were to be expressed both on and off of the field, tremendous success would be reach. Prince was right. By demonstrating confidence and self-belief, I hit such high levels I thought I would never hit in my life. I was soaring. The shy, timid me who was always scared to make wrong moves and steps in the soccer community and also the real world came out of the tortuous shell and approached every situation possible with confidence and pride. It really did pay off.
After four years of having Prince as a coach he had an off to coach at the next level, college soccer, in Louisiana. At the moment it was crushing but everyone knew it was the next big step to further ourselves into the soccer community.
My next coach, Renee, taught me two things that I still apply to all aspects as I do with Prince’s philosophy. One was intentional, the other not so much. The first one was practice makes does not make perfect but rather permanent. Humans are not perfect and even the people who consider being virtuous at their specialized skill still make mistakes. It is ought to happen and there is simply no way to avoid it, it is life. On the other hand, practice makes permanent. In soccer, practicing footwork not only gets stored in the brain but it also translates into muscle memory. When the level of automaticity is reached then the permanence has been stored. This philosophy is also used in every other aspect of my life outside of the soccer community. I replicate the philosophy in areas such as school, music, and other daily activities where repetition is the key to success. The second philosophy she taught me was accidental. Actions speak louder than words. The two years I played with her I felt a stronger and stronger disconnect. I felt as if she never gave my playing abilities a chance was just always overlooked. Her poor character and ego she carried was rubbing off onto the other players and that was when it had clicked. The only way I could get across was to outplay and outwork everyone else. I did so. Unfortunately I still felt belittled. I had tried out for a different club team on my own where we became top 10 in the state. That night was one of my best nights ever of play. Only one familiar face, we had played together with Coach Prince. I went out there and put everything in I had. I played with confidence and self-belief, I was pulling out moves I don’t usually do in public and was just thinking “wow I’ve got this” everything just came so natural. I had let my actions speak louder than words. I didn’t introduce myself to the coach before hand, I just threw everything I had out there. At the end of the night I was lingering around and that’s when he came up to me to tell me I far outplayed everyone else out there and offered me a spot for the team right then and there. I had joined a new community.
I didn’t have to go back to Coach Renee to tell her I was leaving, moving on to bigger and better but I had thought it would be the best character from me and show a new level of maturity. When I had told her about it and was so excited to explore this new community and get myself yet another level deeper into the soccer community, she laughed in my face. She literally laughed in my face. I had looked up and had enough respect for her as a coach but the moment I said I made the premier team she gave me an eye roll and chuckle. That emotionally tore me apart. I wasn’t looking for approval or any type of bragging rights, I was simply trying to be a bigger person and let her know and thought she would be just as happy for my next big step.
I took that action into words philosophy to entire new level shortly after. I had never felt so dis-heartened and such a shock to my esteem. I went and played my butt off for my final two years of FC America. While playing with them I was exposed to college coaches like never before and we had reached the top 10 in the state. I had several offers to play at the collegiate level and that’s where I thought I had almost proved myself and my ability. But it did not end there. I was also the captain of my high school soccer team and lead us to a record breaking season. Here I further enhanced my playing ability. Leading in soccer is not all about play but how you approach your teammates and opponents on and off of the field. I led with grace and confidence and gained the respect from my teammates and coaches and also opposing coaches.
We had made it all the way to district finals, like we’ve done a couple years in the past. So many other teams had also made it to the district finals but in the history of Dr. Phillips High School women’s soccer was still the only sport remaining without the title. Time was ticking down as the score was still tied. I had played both center back and center mid in this game. With the strong defense between me and the other girls on my back line we were able to keep ourselves in the game. With ten minutes to go and our high pressure we were able to get a corner kick off of it. The moment my teammate had lined up to take a corner kick I knew something special was about to happen. I had started my run from the 18 yard box and curved in as I usually did towards the back goal post. That moment I had jumped up with my opposing defender out powered her and was ultimately able to get my head on the ball. I guided it in towards the back post and as I recall it in slow motion saw it slip in between the goalie and the post. I had scored the winning goal. Me, a defender, had one the district championship for my school and community for the first time in history.
That was when I knew I had proved myself. I allowed my actions speak louder than words and do what no one else had done over the past 30 years. I not only carried my soccer community for the rest of that night and until our glory days were over but also my high school community and the actual sub-urban area I had lived in, in Orlando Florida. I had every bragging right in the world now, but I kept humble and kept playing the game that was so dear to me. I was having fun.
word count: 1,514
Growing up I have played soccer and my childhood soon formed into the soccer community. I could not imagine life without it. The soccer community grew to become my backbone, since the age of six. As I grew older, teams and coaches changed due to wanting to compete at the collegiate level and one thing that I had noticed that had also changed within the soccer community was coaching philosophies. Three main coaches that had a major impact had three completely different coaching philosophies. Coach Prince went off of the philosophy of self-belief and confidence, Coach Renee went off of practice does not make perfect but permanent along with another unintentional philosophy, and Coach Graham went off of the philosophy grass roots to college recruits.
At the age of ten I had made the transition to play competitive soccer for the first time. My timid self was especially scared the night of our first training session and the first time I would meet my new coach, Prince. My nerves were spiked and the jitters would not stop. However, the moment Prince had introduced himself and began talking about our team goals and individual goals the stars had aligned and everything clicked. I knew he would make a tremendous impact on my life. His philosophy was self-belief and confidence. I was still scared and timid of playing in front of a group of new people. One night after practice he pulled me to the side and had said that he had believed in my playing ability and I need to display the same confidence on the field that he had in me. He had said no one else on the team could play a split pass and keep possession of the ball like me. I knew he was right and I knew I had to show it. By demonstrating self-belief and confidence, I had reached new levels I never imagined I could have. I was soaring.
Unfortunately after playing with Prince for four years, there was a coach change. Along with Coach Renee being the new coach, new philosophies were set into place. Her main philosophy was practice does not make perfect it makes permanent. Humans are not perfect and even the people who consider being virtuous at their specialized skill still make mistakes. It is ought to happen and there is simply no way to avoid it, it is life. On the other hand, practice makes permanent. This philosophy has also been used in so many other areas outside of the soccer community. In soccer, we had always warmed up with footwork drills. Of course there was a right way and wrong way to do them. If I were to be lazy and not do them properly the incorrect way that I practiced would become permanent. If I did more than just going through the motions the proper way would be permanent. Knees bent, back straight, eyes up and quick choppy feet. She also had a sub-philosophy; it came along with her ego. It was actions speak louder than words. The two years I had played with her I felt a stronger and stronger disconnect. She became the coach that made me want to hate the thing I had loved my entire life. The looks and sly comments made by her had crumbled my confidence I had once worked so hard to build. The only way I felt like I would be able to get across and heard was to outwork and outplay everyone else. I still felt belittled and overlooked by her. I could have taken a shot from outside of the eighteen yard box and hit the crossbar instead of scoring and then benched because “it was the wrong decision.” I could have won a fifty-fifty ball but then benched because I did not pass it to the person she wanted me to pass it to. Every right I had done she had found a wrong.
I could not do it anymore. At the end of the season I went to try out for a different club team. That ended up being one of my best days I had played. My dad had said “I wish I brought the video camera, you looked like Ronaldo out there.” I was playing with self-belief and confidence, I was pulling moves like the scissors and Maradona left and right, I had even thrown in some slide tackles. I was on fire. I had allowed my actions to speak louder than words. At the end of the night I was lingering around hoping to have a chance to speak with him after other girls were talking to him. Eventually he came up to me just as I was heading out. He had told me that I had far outplayed everyone else on the field that night and had offered me a spot on the roster for the premier team. After talking it over with my parents, I accepted. I had joined a new community.
With this new community and new coach came along a new philosophy: grass roots to college recruits. I was all for it. Playing in college had been my lifetime dream and I was finally on a team with the skill level to do it. But before I started I thought it was right to go and tell Coach Renee about switching teams.
When I had told her about how excited I was to explore this new community and get myself yet another level deeper into the soccer community, she laughed in my face. She literally laughed in my face. I had looked up and had enough respect for her as a coach but the moment I said I made the premier team she gave me an eye roll and chuckled. That emotionally tore me apart. I wasn’t looking for approval or any type of bragging rights; I was simply trying to be a bigger person and let her know and thought she would be just as happy for my next big step.
I took that action into words philosophy to entire new level shortly after. I had never felt so dis-heartened and such a shock to my esteem. I went and played my butt off for my final two years of my new team, FC America. Coach Graham kept true to his philosophy and exposed us to many tournaments and showcases that college coaches attend. We had had reached the top 10 in the state. I had several offers to play at the collegiate level and that is where I thought I had almost proved myself and my ability. I had gone from grass roots to college recruits. But it did not end there. I was also the captain of my high school soccer team and lead us to a record breaking season. Here I further enhanced my playing ability. Leading in soccer is not all about play but how one approaches their teammates and opponents on and off the field. I led with grace and confidence and gained the respect from my teammates and coaches and also opposing coaches.
We had made it all the way to district finals, like we’ve done a couple years in the past. So many other teams had also made it to the district finals but in the history of Dr. Phillips High School women’s soccer was still the only sport remaining without the title. Time was ticking down as the score was still tied. I had played both center back and center mid in this game. With the strong defense between me and the other girls on my back line we were able to keep ourselves in the game. With ten minutes to go and our high pressure offense we were able to get a corner kick. The moment my teammate had lined up to take a corner kick I knew something special was about to happen. I had started my run from the 18 yard box and curved in as I usually did towards the back goal post. That moment I had jumped up with my opposing defender, out powered her and was ultimately able to get my head on the ball. I guided it in towards the back post and as I recall it in slow motion saw it slip in between the goalie and the post. I had scored the winning goal. Me, a defender, had won the district championship for my school and community for the first time in history. I could not have done it without incorporating all of the philosophies I had learned on my journey.
That was when I knew I had proved myself. I allowed my actions speak louder than words and do what no one else had done over the past 30 years. I not only carried my soccer community for the rest of that night and until our glory days were over but also my high school community and the actual sub-urban area I had lived in, in Orlando Florida. I had every bragging right in the world now, but I kept humble and kept playing the game that was so dear to me. I was having fun.
2nd Draft
Growing up I played soccer and the soccer community soon formed into my childhood. The soccer community grew to become my backbone, since the age of six. As I grew older, teams and coaches changed due to the desire to compete at the collegiate level and one thing that I had noticed that had also changed within the soccer community was coaching philosophies. Three main coaches that had a major impact on me had three completely different coaching philosophies. Coach Prince went off of the philosophy of self-belief and confidence, Coach Renee went off of practice does not make perfect but permanent along with another unintentional philosophy, and Coach Graham went off of the philosophy grass roots to college recruits.
At the age of ten I had made the transition to play competitive soccer for the first time. My timid self was especially scared the night of our first training session and the first time I would meet my new coach, Prince. My nerves were spiked and the jitters would not stop. However, the moment Prince had introduced himself and began talking about our team goals and individual goals the stars had aligned and everything clicked. I knew he would make a tremendous impact on my life. His philosophy was self-belief and confidence. I was still scared and timid to play in front of a group of new people. One night after practice he pulled me to the side and had said “I believe in your playing ability and you need to display the same confidence on the field that I have in you.” He had said no one else on the team could play a split pass and keep possession of the ball like me. I knew he was right and I knew I had to show it. By demonstrating self-belief and confidence, I had reached new levels I never imagined I could have. I was soaring.
Unfortunately after playing with Prince for four years, there was a coach change. With Coach Renee being the new coach, new philosophies were set into place. Her main philosophy was practice does not make perfect it makes permanent. Humans are not perfect and even the people who consider being virtuous at their specialized skill still make mistakes. It is ought to happen and there is simply no way to avoid it, it is life. On the other hand, practice makes permanent. This philosophy has also been used in so many other areas outside of the soccer community. In soccer, we had always warmed up with footwork drills. Of course there was a right way and wrong way to do them. If I were to be lazy and not do them properly the incorrect way that I practiced would become permanent. If I did more than just going through the motions the proper way would be permanent. Knees bent, back straight, eyes up and quick choppy feet. She also had a sub-philosophy; it came along with her ego. It was actions speak louder than words. The two years I had played with her I felt a stronger and stronger disconnect. She became the coach that made me want to hate the thing that I had loved the most. The looks and sly comments made by her had crumbled my confidence I had once worked so hard to build. The only way I felt like I would be able to get across and heard was to outwork and outplay everyone else. I still felt belittled and overlooked by her. I could have taken a shot from outside of the eighteen yard box and hit the crossbar instead of scoring and then benched because “it was the wrong decision.” I could have won a fifty-fifty ball, but then benched because I did not pass it to the person she wanted me to pass it to. Every right I had done, she had found a wrong.
I could not do it anymore. At the end of the season I went to try out for a different club team. That ended up being one of the best days I had ever played. My dad had said “I wish I brought the video camera, you looked like Ronaldo out there.” I was playing with self-belief and confidence, I was pulling moves like the scissors and Maradona left and right, I had even thrown in some slide tackles. I was on fire. My actions to speak louder than words. At the end of the night I was lingering around, hoping to have a chance to speak with him after other girls talked to him. Eventually he came up to me just as I was heading out. He had mentioned, “I had far outplayed everyone else on the field tonight and had offered me a spot on the roster for the premier team.” After talking it over with my parents, I accepted. I had joined a new community.
With this new community and new coach came along a new philosophy: grass roots to college recruits. I was all for it. Playing in college had been my lifetime dream and I was finally on a team with the skill level to do it. But before I started I thought it was right to go and tell Coach Renee about switching teams.
When I had told her about how excited I was to explore this new community and get myself yet another level deeper into the soccer community, she laughed in my face. She literally laughed in my face. I had looked up and had enough respect for her as a coach but the moment I said, “I made the premier team,” she gave me an eye roll and chuckled. That emotionally tore me apart. I wasn’t looking for approval or any type of bragging rights; I was simply trying to be a bigger person and let her know. I thought she would be just as happy for my next big step, I thought wrong.
I soon took the action into words philosophy to entire new level shortly after. I had never felt so dis-heartened and such a shock to my self-esteem. I went and played my butt off for my final two years of my new team, FC America. Coach Graham kept true to his philosophy and exposed us to many tournaments and showcases that college coaches attended. We had reached the top 10 in the state. I had several offers to play at the collegiate level. At this point, I thought I had almost proved myself and my ability. I had gone from grass roots to college recruits. But it did not end there. I was also the captain of my high school soccer team and lead us to a record breaking season. Here I further enhanced my playing ability. Leading in soccer is not all about play but how one approaches their teammates and opponents on and off the field. I led with grace and confidence and gained the respect from my teammates and coaches and also opposing coaches.
We had made it all the way to district finals, like we’ve done a couple years in the past. So many other teams had also made it to the district finals, but in the history of Dr. Phillips High School women’s soccer was still the only sport remaining without the title. Time was ticking, the score was still tied. I had played both center back and center mid in this game. With the strong defense between the other girls on my backline and me, we were able to keep ourselves in the game. With ten minutes to go and our high pressure offense we were able to get a corner kick. The moment my teammate had lined up to take a corner kick I knew something special was about to happen. I had started my run from the eighteen yard box and curved in towards the back post as I usually did. That moment I had jumped up with my opposing defender, out powered her and was ultimately able to get my head on the ball. I guided it in towards the back post, as I recall it in slow motion, and saw it slip in between the goalie and the post. I had scored the winning goal. I, a defender, had won the district championship for my school and community for the first time in history. I could not have done it without incorporating all of the philosophies I had learned on my journey.
That was when I knew I had proved myself. I allowed my actions speak louder than words and do what no one else had done over the past thirty years. I not only carried my soccer community for the rest of that night and until our glory days were over but also my high school community and the actual sub-urban area I had lived in, in Orlando Florida. I had every bragging right in the world now, but I kept humble and kept playing the game that was so dear to me. I was truly having fun.